The Light In Between
ARTECHOUSE, Washington, DC - Photo by, Kurt Spurrier
I am sitting at my newly cleaned desk, as big fat tears fall onto the desktop. I am crying for me. I am crying for my children. I am crying for our parents. I am crying for our sisters and their families, I am crying for all of my friends and their families. I am crying for Darnestown, for Maryland and for our country - the great United States of America. I am crying for the world.
I am devastated by the level of fear, anxiety, distrust and hatred.
I feel as if I am caught in this weird matrix, where nothing makes sense and people are living in different realities, yet can still interact and see each other. Has this always been the case? Are we just waking up to notice? Is this new? Did COVID unleash everyones darkest parts?
In the deepest level of my soul, I fully believe people are “good”. They are loving, kind, creative, resourceful and want the best for themselves, their children and neighbors.
I try to see and understand others perspectives. Of course, this is often difficult. I am a blonde, white, educated, upper middle class woman with a supportive and large family. I grew up in rural Maryland, lived in Delaware, Manhattan, the suburbs of both DC and NYC. I don’t understand what it feels like to walk in the shoes of someone of color, or someone who has different sexual preferences, is homeless, or is persecuted for their religion or disability. I do, however, try to listen with understanding and compassion.
I have half of my family who sees “them” as the enemy. I see the other half of my family who sees “them” as the enemy. If you need to re-read this sentence again, I understand. It makes NO sense to me either. From the middle, which is where I try to stand, it’s maddening.
We ALL want whats best for our families. I truly believe that!
I witness people in my life, on both “sides”, texting, posting articles that fit their beliefs. Articles that create fear and uncertainty. I know many sane people who fear civil war. Maybe they’re not wrong? With the level of anger and hatred in the air - makes it feel like it’s not that far off base. I’ve witnessed hostility towards people wanting to come out of lockdown. I’ve witnessed hostility towards people wanting to open cautiously. Why? Why are we all quick to condemn each other? Why can’t we have civil discussions? When did everything get so black/white? It’s just not that simple. Deaths and illness from COVID-19 are terrible tragedies. Poverty, domestic abuse, hopelessness, loneliness and suicide are terrible tragedies.
We ALL want whats best for our families. I truly believe that!
Spirituality is important to me. With that, the belief that everyone is connected. When my neighbor is hurting, so I am. If I see hatred, it is inside me too. If I see love, it is inside me too. We are all made of light and darkness. In my world, I choose LIGHT - gratitude, love, hope, generosity, kindness, understanding and connection. When we live mostly in Darkness - fear, anger, hatred, intolerance, greed and separation - it just leads to more of these things, plus anxiety, stress and illness.
I choose the light!
I am not saying that I never enter the darkness. Of course I do. If I said I don’t feel fear, grief, loneliness or anger, I would be lying. Just a few minutes ago, I was sitting here crying. I try not to visit the darkness for too long. I feel it and metabolize it as quickly as possible. I am not claiming to know any answers or to tell you what to think or what to feel. We all have unique life experiences that shape our realities and life. I am just trying to process the collective grief and uncertainty we are all feeling.
I truly believe - we ALL want whats best for our families.
Reading this, you may feel that I am naive. Maybe, I am. However, I want to think we will come out of this a stronger, kinder and more compassionate society. Fear and darkness sells. (and it is contagious) The loud minority is getting the most attention.
The Dali Lama once said “If every 8 year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation”.
This quote has resinated with me for a very long time. Now, more then ever, I like to contemplate this thought. In meditation, or prayer, we go within ourselves. We quiet our minds. We connect with some force larger then ourselves. When we still our minds and follow our breath, we are . . . JUST. . . BEING. In this space, there is no judgement for ourselves or others. There is no room for hatred or fear. There is only our breath and our stillness,
What if COVID-19 is forcing a collective silence? Is it forcing us to look inward? I think yes!
We can’t do things the way we usually do. We can’t do anything on autopilot anymore. We have the opportunity to look at our habits and how we spend our time and money. To evaluate what is important in our lives and how we move forward. We can co-create a better, kinder world. A world full of light. But, we can’t create this from a space of hatred and fear.
If you’re paying attention, you can view the light emerging between the darkness.
Families are eating and cooking together. People are pursuing passions and hobbies. Schedules are lighter, leaving time for sleep and exercise. Or maybe a cup of tea and a homemade cookie . People are checking on each other. Consumption is down. (Maybe we don’t need as much as we think?) I see friends connecting through Zoom that haven’t connected in years. I see parents spending time playing and enjoying their children. Front line workers are being valued. Organizations are finding new ways to support their communities, such as free concerts, seminars, classes, services, meditations, working from home are just a very tip of the iceberg. Mental health is getting the press it deserves. (Maybe it can lose its stigma?) Graduation and birthday celebrations are taking place in new, powerful, and meaningful ways.
Mother Nature is getting a front row seat. Her beauty and power are awe inspiring. Individuals are spending more time outside. Growing food and shopping local are topics of conversation. Pollution is easing. Maybe we will collectively make more of an effort to care and protect her in the future.
Change is uncomfortable and we are experiencing monumental changes.
We are all connected. Therefore, we need to take care of each other, just as we would ourselves. When my neighbor hurts, I hurt. As we go through this change, we need to do it together. I challenge myself and I challenge you to approach these changes with love and kindness. I think both sides sees the other side as “them". What if we dropped “Them” vs “Us”? What if we stopped and listened? What if we asked questions? Why are you hurting? Where do we agree? How can we support each other? How can we inject loving kindness into this world? If each of us choose light - Light wins.
I think we can agree everyone deserves clean water, food, shelter and a chance to share their gifts in this world and be valued for it. A world that is filled with equality and abundance for everyone. Maybe COVID-19 is the first step in co-creating a new reality. A reset.