I am in Between
Goldmine Trail, Potomac, MD, Photo, by Vicki
My intention for starting this blog began in a personal development group I am involved in.
Kinda.
If I am honest with myself, it started a year ago, last May, at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York at a different personal development class. At that time I attended Anita Moorjani’s 5 day workshop, titled The Power of Transformation - Awaken to your Authentic Self. Less then two weeks before this workshop, I had no clue or awareness that I would be getting in my car, leaving my family and heading to Omega by myself. I had just devoured both of Anita’s books - “Dying to be Me” and “What if this is Heaven” in a space of two weeks. I was so bewitched by her work and her life that when I saw she was teaching at one of my happy places, Omega, I just HAD to figure out a way to go. So, I registered, which was an act of synchronicity, and 11 days later, I was unpacking my bags and heading to the Welcome session.
Often, in these workshops, Magic happens. You connect with amazing, interesting, fellow travelers who inspire and energize every cell in your being. Well, this workshop was all of these things on steroids. Anita’s courageous 4 year battle with cancer and subsequent near death experience gifted her a clear understanding of our body/mind connection and how we can heal. Forty-nine people were registered for this class and the group chemistry was so perfect that it seemed predetermined. We delved deep and did a lot of soul searching and connecting to our higher powers.
For one of these exercises we were sorted into 7 groups of 7 people. The task seemed simple. Silently, we would each take a turn receiving energy from the other 6 members of the circle for 7 minutes. I found the challenge mystical. The subtle and massive differences in each person’s energy field was eye opening to me and could easily be another blog post I will save for another time.
When it was my turn, so much awareness emerged. For example, I found it MUCH easier to give energy to others then to receive it. I was very uncomfortable at first just receiving energy without giving anything back. Initially and unconsciously, I reflexively returned energy back to the others. The directions were clear, we MUST just receive the energy. That was it! Nothing else. JUST . . . RECEIVE! So, I pulled back and opened myself to receiving.
When I softened and surrendered, I was filled with love, support and guidance. It felt like coming home to myself. To that date, it was the deepest in meditation I had ever attained. Messages and images appeared. I was connected to my higher self and to the universe. I was one with myself, the others in my group, the room, the campus, the earth, the sky, the heavens and everything in between.
One message was louder and more forceful than all of the others. I heard it as if someone next to me screamed it at me. I visually “heard” it. I intuitively felt it. I sensed it. I touched it. I even smelled the message.
“Vicki, WRITE A BOOK”!!!
What the f*%^?????
WHAT THE F*%^?????
“Me? Write a book?”
WHAT THE….
“I don’t want to write a book”!
“I can’t write”!
“OMG, is this a joke”?
“My husband can write, not me!”!
“My story isn’t anything special”!
“NO WAY!”
Sitting here, one year later, the message is still there, hanging around, nudging and tapping me gently to write this book I am supposed to write. It’s been percolating and brewing for a year. As the mission gets clearer, I am starting to believe two things. First, I can actually write the book. Second, my life has prepared me to do so.
So, back to “my intention for starting this blog began in a personal development group I am involved in”.
It’s actually a mastermind group designed by my dear friend, Rosario Londono, called The Personal Accelerator. It is designed to help “consciously becoming the artist, designer, writer of your own reality from a higher place of awareness.” To birth intentions into this world with concrete tools and support. We each are encouraged to build a prototype of our intentions.
My intention is to write a book.
My prototype is this blog.
The prototype is meant to be a smaller version of my vision and intention. I landed on a blog so I could find my voice, to set up routines around writing and to see if I enjoyed the process. Mostly, the blog is meant to help me explore my concept of “Magic Happens In-Between”. The in-between spaces of our lives: when we inhale a breath there is a pause before we exhale; when we exhale there is a pause before we inhale. It’s in the pause, in the space of the pause, in the stillness of the pause, in the reset, that we can connect and find the grounding and completeness we all crave.
Over the past 22 years, I have personally had many deep experiences that have shaped and transformed my life. Ugly, difficult life experiences. However difficult, heart breaking and traumatic, I have learned that the spaces in-between the trauma and chaos is laughter, beauty, grace and grit. If we focus on these spaces, this magical space, the pauses, we can transform our realities and bring greater awareness, love, joy and contentment to our life. My intention is to delve deep, tell my story, our story, and how we paused, listened and transformed. How just the simple act of focusing on the ignored spaces in-between can spark light.
So, today, as I sit here, I am In-between. I am in between being a reader and being an author.